My garbage disposal is broken, my car needs $800+ in car repairs, registration is due this month and we just had changes that make 2 cars necessary, and there is a very real possibility that I broke my left hand/wrist and I'm left handed. Oh, and we don't have insurance, I type for a living, and have young children at home that depend on me. Plus there is other stuff we've been dealing with for the past few months that I shouldn't go into. All in all, not the easy time in my life. But there's hope. The world is a better place with hope. Right?

Saturday

So, when my kids get old and they think that I just sit around, read books, and eat bon-bons all day, this was my Saturday:

1) woke up, dealt with kids, got them ready for the day, etc.
2) Quick grocery shopping and got gas for car and lawn mower
3) Went to the bank, then home by 9:30
4) Mowed the lawn
5) Weed-eated (sp?) The lawn
6) turned sprinklers on for short time for fertilizer
7) spread fertilizer on the entire lawn
8) quickly got ready, got kids ready, and out the door by 11:47
9) Soccer game for Zach, coached game
10) Cleaned up goals and field after soccer game
11) Went home, got lunch for the kids, did dishes
12) Brandon over- spent approximately an hour helping go over Divorce papers and finalize papers for filing with the Court
13) Cleaned up the house
14) Nate played with friend here, took Zach and Addi for walk/run to play at Kamden’s house
15) Took Addi home, put her to bed, cleaned house
16) made pizza dough for dinner
14) mowed neighbors lawn
15) gave Addi a piggy back ride to pick up Zach at Kamden’s, ran with her on the way back home.
16) cleaned up our yard, cleaned up apples, little bit of weeding, started laundry
17) Made 2 pizzas, plus pizza for each kid (One to be used for school lunches)
18) clean house, dusted and vacuumed while kids ate
19) took kids to Walmart to get a couple of have to things for next day
20) home by 8:47, put kids into bed
21) cleaned up dinner/ house, put pizzas in sandwich bags for lunches,
22) laundry
23) laid down with Addi to get her to sleep.
24) worked for job for approximately 35 minutes to finish up time needed for week

I probably missed some things, but that about sums up the day. Jeff had to work and left around 11:10 a.m., so most of this was on my own. Although not every day is as physically demanding, most days are pretty busy crammed full trying to be a full time, stay at home mom (mostly), and working full time. Although I’m deemed “part-time”, I’ve billed more hours than any of the other paralegals by at least 176+ hours. I don’t get the numbers anymore for the hours posted for the year, but I’ve worked harder than any of the other paralegals. I’ve had some people ask me how I stay so thin. Well, I have a pretty crazy life. 

Do you ever feel sometimes like life keeps smacking you down? It's all good. Still very blessed. 

Lazy people make me sad.

Confidence

Maybe it's an odd quality I want my kids to have, but I really hope I can help them gain confidence. I want them to feel like they can take on the world. That they won't be scared to try and they won't let people, or ideas, scare them in any way. I'm sure that's part personality and genetics, but I hope I can give them a safe haven that they know they will always have, but then be brave enough to take on the world. I was painfully shy as I kid. I mean, I had to have my big brother go introduce me to the girl that was my age moving in next door. Like I said, painfully shy. Geez, I've been shy as an adult as well. We were first married and living in apartments in a family ward. I had been called to be in the Young Women's and the YW's president (parent of one of my former primary kids) asked me if I was scared of her. Seriously Mel, what is your problem??
However, I've come to realize that, "if you plan it, they will come" and that I can start things, share ideas and, talk to complete strangers, and make a complete lunatic of myself and as long as I am confident in myself, it doesn't matter. I'm still trying to get there, but I've come a long way baby.  Watch out world. When I'm an old lady with a walker I may be confident enough to dance down the street in a bikini. Or maybe not..
Anyhow, I hope my kids will have the confidence to be willing to take whatever comes there way, do whatever they want, and not let someone hold them down. Maybe my wish was fulfilled in my daughter, because she is completely willing to let me know her opinion at the age of three. I'm not sure if the world is ready for her!! Anyhow, I'm hoping that if I give them a safe haven that they will have the confidence to do whatever their dream and not let anyone, or anything, hold them down. If you have any ideas, suggestions, etc. I'm always willing to listen.